shitty period of life

so basically.. its the start of exams ( ok not really the start of it since i had 5 papers already but.. you know what i mean ) and its horrible. to be honest , it doesn't feel like its the exam period . Its like i don't have any motivation nor do i feel nervous at all. Not sure if its a good or bad thing but this whole week has to pass fast. First thing after the exams is to catch up on my sleep. D e f i n i t e l y . Its like i'm always going to school feeling no energy at all hahaha. History and biology exam today and oh god i swear it was horrible. So had history first and whatever we studied did not come out for seq. WHAT IN THE WORLD. Everyone was like " No Hitler.. " and screw that man , screw that. If i had known , i shouldn't even have wasted time studying for it . ARGH. Didn't they say it was 3 choose 1 and what the hell, why did it ended up with 2 choose 1. Oh stupid Teo. At least on the fun side , when Mr Frois was collecting the scripts, we had paper ball fight and damn it was funny. Ok lame hahaha. Now to biology, THANK GOD I DIDN'T FOCUS ON THE HEART CHAPTER . If not i'll be wasting my time studying for it . Honestly, biology was better than history. just by a tiny winy bit. But in the first place, who puts history and biology on the same day? stupid school. there's like so many more papers to go and right now, just let time pass fast so that this shitty period would be over. 

Yesterday's ❀

Yesterday was pretty fun ☺ ( whatever i'm gonna say will seem like i'm contradicting myself but nevermind ) So first of all, we had the usual National Day celebration in school and i swear it was horrible omg. It was a zillion times worser as compared to last year's celebration. Really pity the sec 1s this year. But even though it was horrible , at least the singing of National Day songs were fun . Especially when Mitchell , being the joker like he always is , started singing out loud, like literally. I think only the sec 3s were being all hyped up. Haha but whatever, Y O L O . So after the celebration , we were all excited for sports carnival but saddening news was that the lightning alert was on and it was drizzling . To be honest, i guess everyone was only looking forward to the interclass finals and thats probably 90% of the reason why they turn up for school yesterday. Oh GUESS WHO GOT HER CLASS TEE? THATS RIGHT , ME . It actually turns out better than expected and everyone was looking at us during assembly cause it was being given out. The class tee is really cute ( will put a photo of it below ) . Okay so since it rained , we went back to class to watch some NE videos and thats all for school. After school was the fun part. Went out with Clarisse and Huiyi to Bugis to shop of course, plus catch a movie :-) Was so tempted to buy so many stuff but Huiyi was being so mother-ish , if you get what i mean, kept brain washing me not to buy it. That bitch of mine will really make a great mother in the future . How i wish there was unlimited cash for me to spend and also someone who will actually have the patience to shop with me since i'm always so undecisive on getting stuff i want. So we decided on watching The Wolverine since Grown Ups 2 wasn't showing anymore and since we three haven't watched that . THAT MOVIE WAS REALLY GOOD AND OMG HUGH JACKMAN ABS ARE DISTRACTING I CAN"T EVEN. Double thumbs up and whoever who have not watched it should definitely go watch it. The movie ended kind of early but since there was no where else to go, we went home. Okay i know that doesn't sounds really fun but i'm a easily contented person so hehe bye !

                      A class of Minions ♡

Happy Birthday Shan ❁

Dear Shan,

I know this post is a little early but my mom would definitely not allow me to post this at 12am since there's school tomorrow. Blame it on why 5th August has to be on a Monday. HAHAHA. But anyway, just take it that whatever i've typed is posted after 12am alright? :-) I know you probably won't be able to read this post immediately since you're on vacation now but hopefully you'll read it soon. ( you definitely will since you stalk me like 24/7 ) Since writing a long birthday message on whatsaDpp is mainstream as we both have been doing that for the past two years, i decided to write a post for you. So firstly,  Happy Birthday bitch ♡ Thanks for all the bitching/ranting sessions we had through whatsapp despite the different time zone that obstruct us from talking frequently. To be honest, i think that you moving to California with your family had brought us closer. But NO, you're gonna get your ass back here in Singapore soon , whatever you say is invalid. I guess you're one of the few people who actually understands me and is always there for me no matter what happens. ( when i'm down or when i just need someone to rant to etc. ) Oh especially during that period when I ***** ** with you know who. If you don't understand what i'm typing, whatsapp me HAHA. The advices you give when it comes to love or life are always so difficult to understand. The words you use are like some asdfghjkl alien language. I'm not kidding, its like whenever i read your ask.fm, i'm like what the crap? YOU DON"T HAVE TO MAKE EVERYTHING SOUND SO CHIM. If you even remember what does that mean. Heartbreaking fact : You need to update me more about your love life cause i don't even know whats going on in your life now and i'm only getting information from your ask.fm. Don't worry , i still love you. Also, just know that whatever happens, i'll always be here for you if you're down or if you need someone to talk to like how you're there for me. Be it any decisions that you make regarding your love life or between some obstacles, i'll always support your decision. You need to come back soon cause we've got a lot to catch up to do and we need to SHOP SHOP SHOP. Can't wait for you to get your ass back in Singapore. Happy Birthday Shan, I love you xx

exactly the same

Damn I swear that guy in tuition looks exactly the same as him. Shan said that it could probably be his brother. HAHAHA that's not possible at all since he only have an older brother. Well the more I look at that guy, the more resemblance I see. Oh my god why why why :-( it's like their skin colour, size , eyes etc looks exactly the same. He even have a dimple on the left side of his cheek . WHAT IN THE WORLD. Apart from the guy in tuition having a piercing and his height, I guess they're basically 99.99% alike. ( over exaggerating but oh well ) But at least it doesn't really bothers me anymore, like at least I don't think about him as often. BUTTTTTTT, it's definitely distracting me cause to be very honest, he's not that bad looking either. ARGH, I need to freaking maintain. Yes, maintain Nicole, maintain. It's not like I would be interested in him or anything. I hope not. I guess it's just pure coincidence that they look alike. Yes, I shouldn't be thinking about it .

changed for the worst

Not only me, but practically most of the people I asked in school thinks that you have changed. Not for the better of course, it's for the worst. I don't get what you're thinking, really. It's not like you're very pretty or anything. Stop striking poses that looks more like a slut or looks more like you're trying to get attention. It's disgusting. The more pictures you post, the more disgusted and irritated I get. ( as well as her. ) You're just destroying your whole outlook by posting those pictures on instagram for your information. I'm not saying that your personality is any better. I mean when you're with us , maybe it's still okay. But when we're out together and there's guys, you just change. Like excuse me, are guys that important to you? Not all guys thinks that you're pretty too by the way. Also, stop trying to fit in with the others when you're not even close to them. Just because he asked you out or maybe you think he 'likes' you doesn't mean you should go you dumbass. You yourself know that he's a playboy with over like I don't know, 40+ girlfriends? You don't even know what others say about you. How they don't want to go to a gathering because you're there etc. Maybe you think that everyone likes you, but as a friend, I really think you should seriously wake up and stop being like what you are now. Fake.

sleep deprived.

Finally its Friday. I mean i really don't want the week to end but its just that school's taking away my sleep. All i get is 5 hours of sleep every single day, excluding the weekends. Or maybe including half of the weekend, Saturday whereby i have to wake up at 9am just because tuition is in the morning. Teachers/parents are always asking us to sleep early. EXCUSE ME HELLO. How do you expect us to sleep early when there's tests, homework, and other stuff like project that we got to do and hand in. I don't get how some of the students are able to get 8 hours of sleep everyday with all the homework piling up. I'm not talking about primary school students of course. They say if you're able to get more than 8 hours of sleep during the weekdays, you're either a god or you just can't be bothered with the work given. To all those people out there thats getting 8 hours of sleep, I CLAP FOR YOU. I think theres something wrong with me whereby i have the tendency of procrastinating my sleep. Every time when i tell myself that i want to sleep early, i'll just end up sleeping at 11pm etc. ( Thats considered late to me by the way ) Maybe its just my body clock thats screwed up, i don't know :-( The holidays should come soon so that i can sleep or maybe hibernate. Yes , that would work. 

busy busy following week

I'm really dreading for next week to come.. There's like so many crappy tests next week :-( Chemistry, double math etc INCLUDING tuition. Who knew that there's even tests in tuition? There's this newcomer today joining us for tuition who looks kind of cute. Well he somewhat look like Gabriel though. His height, tan lines, size ( skinny by the way ) and most of it looks like him. Just that their age and him having a piercing is different i guess. Back to topic, just hope i don't flunk any of them. But i mean seriously, can't the teachers put the different tests in different weeks? Its not like we're so free to study for ALL  the tests HELLO. Excluding the nerds/kiasu people who wants to score well. Sigh nevermind. Oh there's mother tongue listening compre too. School's gonna end at 1235 because of listening compre for all those who doesn't take hcl and for the lower secondary students. To all those that doesn't need to take listening compre, YOU'RE WELCOME. Gonna go to Labrador Park for some geography lesson next thursday. Volunteered with the other 19 students in the class to go there when Ms Tan asked for volunteers. HAHAHA first time ever. Due to inter-class next week, there's not gonna be softball training. NOOOOOOOOOOO. Speaking of inter-class, i really hope our class will win ! Well to be very honest , i think we'll make it through the first round. But who knows? Lets just pray that we'll do well. BYE 

short post

Have not been blogging lately so i'm sorry about that ! So had oral today and surprisingly , it was manageable. Not forgetting the fact that i screw up some stupid parts and oh, the conversation part as well. But the picture was stupid. Like hello, what can i possibly talk about if its about two boys doing graffiti art? Think please . At least i'm done with it, right? Can't believe that the juniors actually won the match yesterday, i mean sorry but really wow. Even the rest of the B girls are shocked. Not understimating them or anything but who knew that they'll actually win ?! Great job C girls :-) Oh, i'm glad to say that i'm over him. That took quite awhile but yay. I'm over my "crush" too. Well not exactly my crush since i'm not sure how i actually felt for him and since his replies are so cold and stupid. Since its Allen's birthday tomorrow , shall stay up to wish him Happy Birthday ignoring the fact that i'll be dead tired in school tomorrow. Thank god Ms Sandra postpone the english test for those who had oral today. That way i'll be able to watch the juniors match tomorrow :-) Thats all for now i guess. G O O D B Y E 

Thank God It's Friday

Its finally the end of the week ! It has only been a week since school  started and i'm already feeling so stressed up, tired etc. Its Friday the 5th of July which also means that its officially the start of Chinese Os oral ! Allen and Gabriel said that they screwed up the whole oral thing today. I'm so screwed in two weeks time holy shit. At least on the bright side, since they tested on CIP today, it wouldn't come out again :-) I HOPE. Was on the bus this morning and saw ACSI B div pitcher. Why is everyone around me so tall.. it feels like i'm the only short one. Its okay, there are advantages for being short so i shouldn't be complaining about my height. So after the long draggy, useless, plain ( and the list goes on) day in school, i met up with Rachel for lunch ☺ Went to Star Vista to have our lunch but on the way there, well lets just say something happened. I just don't get why some bus drivers of  different races thinks that us students are against them. Apparently the bus driver thought that some ACSI students were stereotyping him. OH COME ON. Who would be so childish to do that. Whats worse was that that bus driver went to call the police . ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Just because of some misunderstandings and they had to waste the other passengers on the bus time. L A M E. * fast forward to the part at Star Vista * So when i met up with Rachel, we went to Itacho Sushi for lunch. The food there wasn't too bad afterall especially the sushis ! Of course we started ranting about practically everything be it school, friends , guys etc. Speaking of guys, i guess we both really just want to bitch slap our crush. EXCUSE ME HELLO , STOP GIVING US MIXED FEELINGS AND TELL US WHETHER YOU LIKE US OR NOT. To all guys out there ; not all girls would have the courage to confess to the guy they like, so please please do the job. Sincerely, us girls. I guess the reason why me and Rachel are so alike is probably because we feel that we both aren't good enough for anyone, and our crush does not like us back. Right Rachel? Right. Took really a lot of awkward pictures in the restaurant itself as people was like literally looking at us. Who cares :-) Star Vista was boring  so went to Rachel house after lunch for a short while only since she had tennis lesson in the evening. OH saw Brandon in the mrt too, damn saw too many people today . Its been a long time since everything went well. Great day today especially hanging out with Rachel , thanks babe  ♥ 

what in the world

Going back to school to see your friends is a great thing, but not seeing bitches flirting around with guys / people who think so highly of themselves etc. If you really need to flirt, do it somewhere else. GET A DAMN ROOM. Its so disgusting seeing you flirting with guys. Next, I don't know whats going on between the two of them, one moment they're okay, and then they will be arguing. To be very honest, if you guys don't like each other, just stop hanging out with each other. Why make life so difficult for yourself? LOL. Talked to huiyi today and she agreed that *inserts name* is scary (?). Not sure if thats the correct word to use but nevermind. Its like she's so quiet at times and always keep the comment to herself. You'll never know what she's thinking about sometimes. Better keep a distance i guess. People finally agree with me that those 3 girls that are always together are backstabbers. Ironic thing is, they used to complain about how they hate one another but now they're really close. WHAT IN THE WORLD. In a dilemma of whether should i go and watch the match coach's umpiring. I want to go out but not go all the way to Kallang field at 8am just to watch a match that i'm not even playing. Why am i so lazy..  Oh starting to not like the seating arrangement. Its like i don't have anyone close around me to rant to.. well thats bullcrap. So many things happened recently and i just wanna talk to him. But his replies will most probably be like " i don't know " etc. Its already kind of awkward between us so nevermind. Maybe i just wanna take a break from all this , thats all.

Hi July

Was suppose to blog this yesterday but was too tired because of school and training. Hi July . Damn, time passed so quickly, it feels like it was just the beginning of the year. I thought back to school would be fun, but i thought WRONG. Its only the second day of school but it feels like i've been back to school for a week. Probably because normal lessons resumed right immediately. I'm not used to waking up so early in the morning, one of the reasons why i hate school. Well at least Mr Koh changed the seating arrangement ! Natalie should be placed near me though.. its so hard to talk to her now. And also some people shouldn't even be placed near each other. Not gonna mention names so nevermind. :-) Training resumed yesterday and WHY DO I SUCK IN SOFTBALL NOW. I can't even throw a ball properly . Need to really get use to the different throwing style for baseball and softball since i'm joining both sports. Coach ( even though he's a guy but.. ) is like always having pms towards the B division . LIKE HELLO. At least we still freaking turn up for training ok. Not like the juniors whom competition are coming and yet some do not turn up. Honestly speaking, they're screwed for nationals so good luck to them. Thank god Chinese Os oral are during mid july and not this coming friday. I'm not fully prepared. Maybe not even prepared at all. lol.  MUSCLE ACHE SUCKS TO PLUTO AND BACK. Stupid muscle aches. I can't even climb up and down the stairs properly. This whole semester is going to be a really short one and i just hope that it will at least be better than the first. But for now, i'm not even gonna wish that July would be better than the past 6 months cause that will never happen so just, Hi July.

onezerozero questions :-)

So apparently i'm bored and i was asked by some to do this too so why not right ? :-) Anyway its just some stupid, crazy questions. E N J O Y 

1: Your best friend(s)?
Rachel , Trina , Huiyi , Shannon , Daniel , Ganesh

 2: Was your last relationship a mistake?
Nope

3: Do you miss your last relationship?
I don't know.

4: Who did you last say "i love you" to?
Natalie

5: Do you have any siblings?
Yes, two.

6: Have you ever been depressed?
I don't think so.

7: Are you a boy or girl?
Girl

8: Are you insecure?
When it comes to love, yes.

9: What is your relationship status?
Single

10: Last book you read?
A unique kind of love

11: Your height is?
Hate this question. 159cm

12: Have you played any sports?
Yes

13: Do you bite your nails?
No way. Its disgusting.

14: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes , kind of.

15: Do you have an attitude?
Depends on who i'm talking to.

16: Do you like someone?
Yes of course.

17: Do you think your crush likes you?
Nope, don't think so.

18: Have you ever read a book?
Yes , I LOVE BOOKS.

19: Whats your crush's name?
Its private and confidential

20: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Yes, a few in fact.

21: Do you miss someone?
Yup

22: Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
TWIRL

23: Have any pets?
Used to.

24: Would you take any of your exes back?
I don't know, depends.

25: Do you have piercings?
Yes

26: Want anymore?
It may sound disgusting but yes , belly piercing.

27: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Definitely

28: Any plans for tomorrow?
Well.. there's baseball training.

29: Are you scared of spiders?
Nope

30: What are you craving for now?
Macaroons , donuts , starbucks

31: Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I don't know. Have I?

32: Does someone love you?
Hahaha. How would i know..

33: Do you want to have kids?
Maybe (?)

34: Have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Yes . *guilty*

35:  Have you ever been cheated on?
I hope not.

36:  Are you thinking of someone right now?
Yes, that person is always on my mind.

37:  Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
Yes

38: Milk chocolate or white chocolate?
BOTH

39: Favorite color?
Blue

40: Longest relationship?
Half a year.. (?)

41: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
LOL doubt so.. why not someone ask him ?

42: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Can't remember.

43: Who are you texting right now?
Ganesh , Joshua , Dominic , Gareth , Clarisse , Ashley

44: Last text message from?
Gareth !

45: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Definitely forgive.

46: What’s irritating you right now?
The fact that people like Ganesh isn't replying my messages. That asshole.

47: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Kind of.

49: Are you listening to music right now?
Yup

50:  Did you have a dream last night?
Nope ! :-)

51: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
It isn't exactly cute but i'm fine with it.

52: What would you do if your best friend of the opposite sex likes you?
Thats never going to happen . HAHA

53: Ever failed a test?
OBVIOUSLY.

54:  Did you ever played on a sports team?
Yes, currently am too.

55: What sports do you do?
Softball and baseball are the main two.

56:  Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Joshua i guess :-)

57: Do you have trust issues?
Not really.

58: Have you ever missed the bus?
Yes . Hate when that happens.

59: Have you ever run a mile in less than 10 minutes?
Yup.

60: Have you ever been overweight?
Thankfully nope.

61:  Did you ever won a trophy in your life?
Yup !

62: Have you ever been unhappy about your weight?
YES ALL THE TIME.

63: Is this year the best year of your life?
No

64: Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?
Yes LOL.

65: Ever said I love you to the person of the opposite sex?
Obviously..

66: Frequent starbucks order?
Mocha cookie crumble venti plus whip cream.

67: What was your childhood nickname?
Nic

68:  What is your number 1 favourite sport?
Softball

69: Do you like chinese food?
Yup

70: Favorite band/singer?
There's ; the script , lawson , the fray , the cab , chris daughtry , jessie J

71: Last time you hugged someone?
Recently

72: Do you play an instrument?
No

73: Ever had a job?
Nope.

74: Favorite movie(s)?
; Perks of being a wallflower , The Last Song , L O L , The notebook

75: One person that you wish you can see right now?
Him.

76: Person you trust most?
My cousin , shannon.

77: Did you ever made fun of someone for being fat?
ONLY to my sister.

78: Ever been to a wedding?
Yes.

79: Ever got jealous of someone?
Happen so many times .

80: Is cheating ever okay?
Never okay.

81: Are you mean?
Depends on who's the other person.

82: What makes you happy?
A text from him maybe.

83: What year has been your best?
I don't know. All are equally worse.

84: What do you feel like doing right now?
Texing him.

85: Favorite weather?
Rainy weather

86: Do you like the snow?
Definitely. Too bad singapore doesn't snow at all.

87: Does it snow a lot where you live?
Not a single snow .

88: Are you currently bored?
Yes

89: Do you watch the news?
Sometimes

90: Do you missed anyone you used to talked to?
Yes , a few.

91: Ever been late for school?
Nope :-)

92:  Have you ever smoked cigarettes?
Nope , never will.

93:  Did you ever cut yourself for no reason?
On purpose, no. Accidentally, yes.

94: Why did you decide to do this quiz?
Cause i was bored.

95: Would you change your name?
Nope.

96: Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?
Tried to, but failed.

 97: Ever met up with someone whom you met through the internet?
Yup

98: Last movie you watched?
World War Z

99: Do you feel good?
Knowing that this whole thing is ending, yes .

100: Did you think this looked like fun to do?
Thought it was, I WAS WRONG.

FINALLY DONE WITH THIS CRAPPY 100 QUESTIONS. TOOK SO MUCH OF MY BLOODY TIME. REGRETTED SO MUCH. JUST KIDDING BYE ! :-)

crappy school days about to start

School's starting in one more day. GODDDDD i'm so not prepared. Even though i miss my friends, i'm not ready to wake up at 5.45am in the morning just for school. I mean i really don't mind going to school, its just that waking up so early kills. Oh and my homework are not done too. At least i know i'm not alone! :-) There'll be new teachers taking over some of the lessons, just hope that that bitch wouldn't take over any of them. Seeing her is school is really a pain in the ass. Oh well. At least there will be training on Monday ! LIKE FINALLY. Haven't been in the field for ages. Just pray that the juniors won't make us seniors or coach pissed off and also take training seriously (although thats kind of impossible). Oh right, still need to face that pathetic, attention seeking bitch. Only she thinks that she have friends but in actual fact, no one likes her. Yes i'm mean, but only to people like her. But i shall not let her spoil my mood. Can't wait to see my happy pills. :-) Have not seen them since the start of hols, there's so much to catch up on. Start of school also means start of Chinese Os oral.. i'm so dead for that. Well i did do some preparation, but i'm not confident at all since my chinese is like shit. PLEASE DON'T GIVE ANY BLOODY POP QUIZ/TEST ON THE FIRST OR SECOND WEEK. Cause nope, i'm not prepared and my brain feels like an empty nutshell with nothing related to studies inside. Maybe except trigo formulas. YUP THATS ALL. Really hope term 3 will be a good term followed by term 4 and then HOLIDAY because term 1 & 2 was bullshit especially my crappy results. #PRAY 

Being the middle child

Yes, i'm the middle child in my family. Whenever i tell others that i'm the middle child, they'll always be like "Lucky you !" , "At least you have someone to rely on" etc. But i don't really think this way, i guess only my bestfriends understand why since some of them are the middle child too. Having an older brother isn't like what others always say whereby he would stand up for you whenever you're being bullied, or help you with his studies. My brother? He's different. Well since he's the only guy other than my dad in the family, he basically gets most of the advantage. My grandparents would be bias towards him, giving him all the good stuff. I'm always the one getting scolded instead of my brother even if he was in the wrong. But who cares, right? I've gotten used to it. My sister? My grandmother is always bias towards her. Like maybe because she's a little more filial to her, thats why she gets advantages too. Me? I'll always get the scoldings, cold treatments. Probably thats one of the reason why i hate going home early. I guess the only one who will understand me best about this topic will be Huiyi as she's also the middle child too. All those oldest/youngest child out there, you better be glad that you're not the middle child. Okay? Okay :-)

Baking at Ashley's

Was suppose to do this post yesterday but was too lazy. I"M SORRY ASHLEY. Anyway, went to Ashley's house yesterday to bake some cupcakes. It was fun but i guess Ashley did most of the work . So its just the same baking procedures, mixing everything together , putting it into the oven and icing it. Apparently the mixture that we divided for the chocolate and vanilla cupcakes were uneven leading to the weird sizes for each cupcakes after it was out of the oven. Whose fault was it? Ashley's. Just kidding. So when the cupcakes were baking in the oven, Ashley was trying to convinced me into creating an Instagram account. Whats so fun about Instagram? I don't get it, its just posting pictures.. Keep trying Ashley, keep trying . I guess we made too much icing for the cupcakes as there was lots of leftovers. Should have made more colours of the icing instead. Oh i think i did a pretty good job in adding the sprinkles on top of the icing *proud* Thanks Ashley for yesterday and we should totally do it more often :-) 

                                      PRETTY CUPCAKESSSSSS ♡

Insecurities / Love

Insecurities. I guess thats what all girls are feeling right now or have felt before. Being insecure is just something that girls can't control, even i can't. I guess the reason is because there are so many girls out there who are prettier and better in every single way. For example, just when you have a little confidence in the way you look today, another girl whom is much better looking will magically appear out of no where and your confidence level just goes like bam, and its gone. Seeing another girl who's so much better definitely will make other girls insecure. Probably that girl you see have thigh gaps, collar bones, nice waist, flawless skin, and nice features. Thats all it takes to bring a girl's confidence level down. I always question myself, why can't that girl who's nearly perfect be me? Also, is it just me or whenever a guy confesses, i'll always think " Why do you like me? There are so many prettier girls out there and you chose me. Is this some kind of joke? " Its like i'll never believe in guys that confess to me. Reasons being, 1) I'm not pretty, 2) I'm never good enough, 3) They'll get bored of me. There are so many other reasons to list but i guess thats the main three. Every girl always fear that they're never good enough for a guy whom they love. I guess we girls should start loving and accepting ourselves more. Its scary to know that many girls out there tries to go on diet just because they think they're fat when they're nearly anorexic. We should start accepting ourselves for who we are, regardless of our weight, height etc. Everyone is unique in their own ways. Leading on to finding your true love, if a guy really loves you, he'll accept you for who you are, and not want you to try to be others. If not, thats not love. Thats why they say its called falling in love. (?) Cause we shouldn't find love, we should let love find us. When you try to make a guy like you, that guy might or might not like you back. Whats meant to be will be, why bother trying so hard, right? We can't force love anyway . I know, being in love or in a relationship can be a wonderful thing, but if we rush into being in a relationship just cause you think you like that person, then you'll end up questioning yourself about whether you made the right choice from the start. Let time decide on who to love and when to love, then when the right one comes, only will you last and be happy :-) 

day out with her ت

Today was awesome. Had an amazing time with le girlfriend at town. Even though it was only for a few hours, but at least it was better than nothing, right? :-) Its been so long since i've met her, LIKE FINALLY. Walking around town wasn't tiring with her since we had heart to heart talk as well as gossip about 'bitches'. I bet she finally had someone to rant to about her friends' dramas. You're welcome Rachel :-) Had Pasta Mania for lunch and oh, i finally got to watch Now You See Me. Like after so long. The movie was awesome although some parts were kind of boring but still.. thumbs up ! The worse thing about going to town is there's always some girls who will give you that stare . Like what the hell are you staring at ? How about i dig your eyeballs out. LOL. And the weather today was horrible. It was really hazy. Well what can you expect when the PSI is 140, right? Taking photos in Starbucks was really awkward. Especially when Starbucks is crowded. But whatever, YOLO right? HAHAHA. Really enjoyed today all thanks to Rachel. Thanks hun, we should totally go out on dates more often. I know you're gonna read this so thank you ♡ ♡ 

Happy Father's Day ! ♥ xx

Blogging in this weather is just perfect. Anyway, its 16 June which also means its Father's Day! To all those wonderful fathers out there, who work their asses off just to take care of the family, thank you for everything. To my dad. Dear daddy, thank you for always showing me, Nicholas, and Nikki unconditional love. Even though you do not mention it, but your action means everything. Having you waking up so early every weekday just to send us to school, and you always working long hours and coming home late really means a lot to us. I'm sorry that we're always giving you trouble such as us arguing over small matters and ending up complaining to you, as well as making you angry just because we were being immature. Thank you for making sacrifices, being patient with me whenever i'm struggling with my studies, and giving  me, Nicholas and Nikki support in whatever we do. Also, i'm sorry for not meeting your expectations even though it isn't too much to ask for . Be it in studies, or other stuff, i'm sorry for not making you proud of me. Whenever i fail a test/quiz, you'll always be there to cheer me up and keep encouraging me to try harder and do better the next round. Although you don't mention it, i know you're still disappointed in me. Sorry for not trying my best and being so lazy every single time. Thank you for always siding me instead of Nicholas/Nikki whenever we argue. I guess you're siding me only because everyone in the family always side them and show biasness towards them, but still thank you. Thank you for bringing us up as well as teaching us new things in these past few years of life ever since we were born. Thank you for everything you've done for the family and lastly, Happy Father's Day . I love you .

f r i e n d s

As we grow, we come to realize whose our real friends , and whose fake. The quantity of friends a person has doesn't matter anymore. Who doesn't want to have more friends ? But quality is definitely better than quantity. Having more friends sounds like a good thing isn't it? You can have more people to share your problems with, but you never know when they might backstab you . One moment they might be listening to your problems, comforting you and giving you advice, the next moment they might be gossiping behind your back or even telling others your problem which you might not want others to know in the first place. The truth is, its hard to diiferentiate who's real and who's fake nowadays. Everyone act like they care about you, but majority of the time is that they're just curious about your problems , and not because they really care. Thats why, having true friends matters most. It doesn't matter if its only one or two, but what matters most is that no matter what happen, they wouldn't leave you. They will always be there to listen to your pointless dramas over and over again, always support you no matter if you're right or wrong, lets you have total freedom to be yourself , and lastly, a true friend is someone who knows you and accept you even if you're weird or crazy. Every human being out there have true friends , maybe some of them doesn't feel that way, but sooner or later, their true friends will appear. For me and my bestfriends, we're all different. We fight , we laugh , we hate on each other at times. Of course, which friendship doesn't have fights and hates, right ? But at the end of the day, they're the ones who are continuously giving me support . I guess everyone also have a guy bestfriend, right? Well mine? Lets just say he's pretty awesome. The way he cares, protects, cheer me up whenever i'm down, isn't what most guys would do. Even though he's kind of son of a bitch at times, i'm thankful to have him in my life. I bet if he reads this, he'll be so proud of me HA HA HA. Whatever it is, i'm just thankful to have them in my life ♡  

SHOUT OUT TO PATRICK AND SPONGEBOB FOR BEING SO ADORABLE

the society we live in

Before starting on the topic , i shall just briefly do a short introduction about myself. I'm a typical 15 year old teenage girl, who does stuff like what every other girl usually do such as fangirling over hot/gorgeous guys , gossiping about sluts/bitches etc. I'm never good in studies especially in math and sciences. Probably its in the genes, or maybe its just me. Studying is just not my thing, sports is. I won't say i'm good in sports , but compared to other things in life that i've done , sports is one of my strength, i guess. Thats basically about it. Society. In this 21st century, its just so hard to keep up with the society. Everything is improving day by day, and life is just so hectic as compared to the past. I'm not saying that i've experienced the difference or see the change as i've only been on this earth for 15 years , but seeing so many people attempting suicide , complaining about their life on twitter/facebook , i guess majority of the people are just tired of living. Its good that everything's improving such as technology , but its just so different from how things used to be. All i hear from people is " I'm tired of trying so hard but never getting what i want " , " Tired of living " , " I just wanna give up. " etc. Having life getting more hectic day by day, its hard for people to keep up , leading them to attempting suicide. Or probably , its because of the society and the people living in the society. We blame society, but we are the society. In this society, we'll get judged on what we wear, what we look like, how we act, the people we hang out with, and practically every other personal and imperfection trait that we have. Every girls out there are getting so insecure with their looks and weight . Why? Because society made them insecure. More and more girls think that they're never good enough. Society killed the teenagers. People in this society are getting more judgemental , some of them even mocked suicide as if its a joke. Maybe they should try losing their loved ones. The reason for their lost? Because of judgemental people  like they themselves who mocked their loved ones. Probably they will then understand how it feels. Why can't all these judgemental people think about how others would feel? They're not robots, they have feelings too. Just because some of you judgemental people have the looks and get attention from others, doesn't give you the rights to judge others or let alone treat them as if they don't matter. No one's ugly , its just based on how people sees it. In this society, its okay to not be okay , its okay to cry, and most importantly, its okay to not be perfect. Cause at the end of the day, no matter how much a person tries to be perfect, they never will be.